Just Asking

James wrote in, James 4:2 (TEV), "You do not have what you want because you do not ask God for it."

I've always told people they should ask for what they need (or want), but to do so with freedom attached; freedom for the other person to say no.

But why do I find it so hard to ask for what I need or want? What is there inside of me that hesitates to ask somebody for something, be it large or small?

Perhaps the answer lies in a couple of areas.

First, I don't want to hear a no. Noes are hard to hear. No fun. No way. No how. AND I might just hear the no being aimed not at my request, but at me. Weird, I know, but I'll wager you've been there yourself.

Second, asking means that I am depending on someone else. And I want to be independent. Or, more honestly, self-dependent.

Third, who wants to be thought of as being "needy?" Not me.

BUT . . . the truth is that noes will come when you do some asking (and it's not all about you if you do it with some freedom attached), I AM dependent on others (God, family, friends, etc.) and I AM needy (for love, a sense of belonging, a sense of purpose, etc.).

I'm traveling to the Dominican Republic with some friends in July to do some "mission" work. We're going to help build a small church building. We're also going to "build" some relationships. Lots of building--as I/we get "built-up" in the Lord.

I will be sending out a "support letter" in the next few days, asking for prayers and money. I expect to get some support--of both kinds--and I expect to get some noes.

But I've gotten over the "feeling needy" or "feeling dependent" stuff. So I'm being bold in asking for the support I need, both prayer and financial.

I guess I think about asking differently these days. I only ask when I need something. I try not to make requests for trivial stuff (like a riding lawnmower or a new bike), but for big, hairy things; God-sized things.

And I see my requests as giving the other person the chance to join me in my "God-stuff." Participating in a vicarious way as I boldly embark on the adventure to which the Lord has called me. The other person is along for the ride, in a way. But they wouldn't be if I didn't make the "ask" in the first place. So I'm doing them a favor. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

It's good to ask. You might get both what you want and what you need.