"Jumping" Cholla

(Sorry the text runs together further on in this post. Couldn't fix it.)

My parents moved to "The Valley of the Sun" in Arizona in 1979, when Arizona was still "The Wild, Wild West." Most pickups had a gun rack in the rear window, and it was filled with a rifle or two. Just about every weekend saw a shootout in the back parking lot of some bar somewhere in the valley. Bodies were found out in the desert all the time (still are), usually there as a result of foul play. It was a good place to keep your door locked and the shades drawn.

The Valley of the Sun is the huge valley that has Phoenix in the center and is ringed by majestic mountains (purple mountain majesties). Nestled at the base of the mountains to the north is Luke Air Force Base, where they train pilots both foreign and domestic. When the U.S. sells a plane to one of our allies, we also sell the training so the other country's pilots can then fly the thing. Sounds like a sound idea to me. We used to be able (before 9/11) to go out to the end of the runway at Luke and watch the fighter jets do "touch and goes." That is when the planes glide in like they are going to land and, just before they would touch the ground, they hit the afterburners and catapult themselves up, up and away. The sound is deafening. Power, sheer power. You hear the sound ... and you feel it, too.

One of the first things my father did when I visited them in December of 1980 was point out the "Jumping" Cholla (pronounced "choya") cactus (there is one pictured at the top). These innocuous-looking desert plants are really just called cholla cactus. But it's the "jumping" part of the name that makes these things really interesting.

As you can see, this cactus is located in an area that gets a lot of foot traffic ... literally. That red section in the background that shows up about halfway up the cactus is a walking/running track that is located right next to the parking lot of the Johnson Recreation Center. The Rec Center includes a pool, weight room, saunas, tennis courts, bowling lanes, pool and billiards, arts and crafts and a whole bunch of other venues. In back of the walking/running track ( a 1/4 mile loop) is the bacci (pronounced "bochi") courts.

Lots of people hang out in this area, especially during the winter. The photo above was taken in late September, when it was 100 degrees. Not a lot of people on the walking/running track in 100 degree heat.

But the "Jumping" Cholla is there.

It's called "jumping" because little pieces will break off this kind of cactus and roll around, pushed by the wind. And invariably, these little clusters of pernicious cactus needles will end up on a pants leg, a shoe, or even directly on the skin of someone's leg (because they're wearing shorts).

The needles of the cholla are like the needles of a porcupine, then "worm" their way in, the spines enabling the needle to drill into whatever it attaches to. The stories are told of desert travelers getting a cluster of cholla needles on their boots and then finding one of the needles worming its way into a toe. The needle drilled through the boot leather and continued to work its way in, eventually hitting flesh. Ouch! Makes for a nasty infection, sometimes life-threatening when off the beaten path and far from medical help.

Needless to say, it's best to steer clear of these bad boys of the desert. They intend to hurt you. They might look harmless, but they are nasty when it comes to self-defense.

Here's the thought, or question: Why do people put nasty plants like these in places where there are lots of people? Do they have a video camera nearby that catches the moment when a cluster of cholla needles "jumps" onto someone, and then they laugh with sick joy as it happens, rubbing their hands together as they cackle a hideous laugh? Makes me wonder.

And "Jumping" Chollas make for a good perimeter security fence. Plant a bunch of these around your house and you won't have to worry about intruders. They will steer clear of these traveling infection needles. You can't find a more effective "Do Not Enter" sign.

The "Jumping" Cholla is a pretty-looking plant, almost benign in appearance. But cactus-huggers beware! There's danger in them-there needles!

And ... knowing all of this, what kind of person would put one of these in their front yard, next to the sidewalk, where a passerby could inadvertently brush his/her arm/sleeve and drag a needle cluster along for the rest of the walk, totally unaware they've got some real danger aboard?

Chollas are an inexpensive cactus for landscaping. But, really. Go out and buy a real cactus, you sicko!

(What was God thinking when He made these?! Amusement? Just creative? Needed something to go with the "Praying Mantis" or the Venus Fly Trap?)